i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize