Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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