I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
