he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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