Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
