Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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