Dignity is for republicans.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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