I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
