we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
