It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
