I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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