Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm going to jail i love you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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