so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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