dude i'm inner monologue high
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
