I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
