I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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