I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she peed on how many people?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
