whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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