rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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