Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My ATM looks so different sober.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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