Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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