i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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