um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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