i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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