Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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