I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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