there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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