Whod you bang
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
