wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
