Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
and she was petting her beer can
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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