Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize