Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
jump out the window naked night went bad
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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