is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
