I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i want to swaddle you in tequila
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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