So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
