hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's like God shit irony all over that family
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
