found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
