she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize