His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
