Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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