That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
