I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
