oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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