I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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