drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
