Sponge bath it is.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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