The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
