Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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