If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
