did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
