There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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