Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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