We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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