So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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