I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
