Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
