i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize