There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
