please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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