you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm always down for nudity.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
