Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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