i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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