We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Boobs are out for the taking
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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