It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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