There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
false alarm, still single
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
