Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
