just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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