Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
