Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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